On Beauty & the Wasteland - v.1 / issue 1 - Sacrament: Baptism

 

On Beauty & the Wasteland
V.1 / issue 1

Sacrament: Baptism

I am 3 years old, red-faced screaming. 

A priest pours holy water over my head, baptizing me in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit. Above us looms a life-sized crucifix depicting a nodding Jesus with the 5 holy wounds. A nail in each hand. A nail through his feet, one atop the other. A crown of thorns on his head. And a side wound speared through to make sure he is dead.  

I am fighting for my life. Kicking, punching, shrieking, 

“NO! NO! I don’t want to die on a cross like Jesus!” 

My family is there. There are pictures

I have heard this family story 100 times accompanied by laughter. My pain and terror is a family joke. 

I am not laughing. 

I am outraged.

I am crying.

I am wailing.

I am grieving.